Narcotics Are Not M&Ms — A Recovering Addict’s Tale
Earlier in the week, I found myself in the emergency room of a local hospital. I had a list of symptoms and wanted to get checked out in order to make sure I wasn’t having some sort of cardiac issue. When the EKG came up normal, the ER doc on call ordered some blood work and a chest x-ray. When nothing emergent was found I was discharged with two scrips — one for aspirin and one for Xanax.
I told the nurse I didn’t want the Xanax, but she said that I had to leave with it. What I do with it thereafter isn’t her business.
I am pretty open about my history of addiction. Anyone who asks me generally gets a complete picture. If the person has the time, they get the unabridged version.
In 1997, I went to the hospital for what turned out to be a pilonidal cyst. It was probably the most pain I’ve ever been in. The ER prescribed me an antibiotic and Vicodan — an opioid pain killer. You see, Vicodan is part of a family of pain killers that have been prescribed fairly liberally since the 90s. Pharmaceutical companies assured doctors that there was minimal risk of patient addiction from using these medications.
The reality was much different.
By 1999, 86% of patients using opioids were using them for pain unrelated to cancer. From 2002 to 2013 the number of heroin related overdoses rose 286%. Approximately 80% of heroin users admitted to abusing prescription painkillers before turning to heroin (source). Around the same time hospitals started studying patient pain by asking them to assign a score. More focus was put on comfort, rather than the problem causing the discomfort.
Me? Well, I abused Vicodan and Percocet from 1997 until April 4th, 2007. I have been clean for 11 years, and I never made the jump to heroin — needles are one of my totally irrational fears. That fear kept me from much worse trouble. I’ve had my moments — I had a car accident in 2013. I requested a non-opioid pain killer. I did not get one, incidentally, and almost slipped back into a destructive pattern. I caught myself before taking off the precipice.
I’ve lost friends to this drug. I’ve watched colleagues struggle with it. I’ve watched my heroes succumb to the lie of the addiction. It’s hard to keep that black dog at bay…
